Jobhunting Pinoy Style: Now I got me a job (yay!)

So I now have me a job.

As all job applications go, this one was  a doozy.

My friend texted me before the New Year to tell me about an academy looking for English teachers.

I thought what the hell. I have plans, but while I’m waiting for the plans to come through, I might as well get me some cash.

The application is as follows:

1. Submit your application letter, transcript and certificates.

2. Take a TOEIC exam. I’d heard about TOEIC exams. Korean students practically lay down their lives to get a high score in these exams. I took it and I found it hysterical. This is what you die for?!? Piece of quiche!

3. I had an interview.

4. I had a training (this consisted of observing teachers teach English as a second language).

5. I got the job.

But this is not the exciting part.

The exciting part is getting your health card certifying that you are fit to work with students (insert smile here).

This consisted of the following procedures:

1. Go to your local health center.

2. Look for the man who looks like he can more or less tell you how to obtain a health card, amidst the long queues of men and women belligerently and confusingly trying to process their own documents before the deadline.

3. When you have found said man, said man, after much inquiry will direct you to a handwritten poster on the wall (in pentel pen ink) about the directions.

4. Go back to said man to ask for form as poster has indicated on wall.

5. Leave the building in a huff when said man refuses to give you form to fill in since you don’t have a 1 x 1 photo ID card (No ID card, no form).

6. Go to nearest photo studio to have your photo taken.

7. Struggle to keep your last shred of sanity when the power goes out.No power, no picture, no developing of picture, no form.

8. Wait a few minutes for the power to come back on.

I say jump...jump for my love... 🙂

9. Realize that you must beat the deadline since there is a 10am cut-off and thus you must go there before 10am. It is now 9:45am.

10. Power goes back on so you rush breathless to the health center.

11.  Ask man again for next step in health card processing.

12. Go to x-ray department and be relieved that you don’t need to have an x-ray since you already.

13. Get annoyed at the lady behind the immunology/serology/fecalysis counter when she looks at you funny when you jump around in joy, brandishing stool in a canister,  because you have beat the deadline.

14. Go back at 3pm to have your physical examination, which consists mostly of a lady in a white lab coat examining your fingernails.

15.  Go to next floor to get your health card.

16. Repeat after 6 months.

I now am a proud owner of the government health card that certifies that I am fit to teach foreigners English.:-)

I rest my case.

4 thoughts on “Jobhunting Pinoy Style: Now I got me a job (yay!)

  1. In addition (and this is totally based on my recent experience), going to said place at 8:00am making sure to beat the 10:00am and first-two-hundred-applicants-a-day cut-off just to be told that no I.D. picture, no form (and that’s with a side comment of “why on earth did you come here without I.D. pictures?” instead of giving a helpful recommendation on where to get them as fast as you could. So you rush home and get the pictures because you are so sure you can beat the cut-off only to be TOLD at 9:15 that you didn’t make it to the cut-off. You go home . 30 minutes later your mobile phone beeps and you read the message of your friend looking for you saying she’s glad to have been able to make it before the cut-off. It was 9:45. I was there at 8:00 then again at 9:15. I did not make it to the said cut-off. You do the math.

    1. Hay naku di ba?!? 🙂 Excuse me while I piss and moan and rant and rave like an impotent jerk about the crazy system that is the Philippines’! 🙂 k k k

  2. Let me get this straight… you had to get your fecal matter examined? Why on earth would you need to do that? What does your health have anything to do with teaching foreigners? I mean I understand a drug test via blood test to say you’re clean, but that should be about it right? And an X-Ray? I am so confused… do they check the alignment of your spine or something to determine you proficiency in English. Gotta love red tape…

    1. I know!
      Finally…someone else who thinks having to go through all the red tape just to teach English is just plain preposterous. 🙂

      Yeah, apparently English proficiency can be determined through fecal matter – like fecal divination or something. 🙂

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