First off, a “Grease” number that doesn’t quite get the zing of the original, a plot line about Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) wanting to propose to Emma (Jenna Mays) with the help of the Glee Club, thus making the kids suggest such inane proposal songs as “Moves Like Jagger” (WTF?) and “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” ( I love the song, I hate how Glee killed it for me), culminating with a proposal via synchronized swimming at the high school swimming pool. Again, WTF, Glee?

Thought I’d watch it for Santana (Naya Rivera) and Brittany but nothing’s happening there.

IN fact, except for some powerful scenes, episodes from Season 3 have come off uneven and incoherent. As usual.

If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight…

The main problem with Twilight isn’t its sparkly vampires who lack all traditional weaknesses, or even its anti-feminist sensibility. When you get right down to it, the trouble is that the writing is terrible, filled with cliche phrases (“smoldering eyes”), repeated words (294 “eyes” in 498 pages) and the reductive characterization of its main characters (Bella is clumsy, and I guess she likes books. Or something).

On a recent car-trip with my husband and the writer Chip Cheek, we mulled over the question: What if great literary writers of the last 200 years had penned Twilight instead?

My top favorites from the site include:

Herman Melville

“Call me Bella.” A tome about the length of the original series investigates Bella’s monomanical search for the vampire who stole her virginity. There’s an entire chapter devoted to describing the devastating whiteness of Edward’s skin, and several on the physiognomy of vampires, starting with their skeletal structure outward.

Virginia Woolf

The novel takes place over the course of twenty four hours, during which Bella is painting a portrait of Edward and reflecting on how her femininity circumscribes her role within 20th century society.

Cormac McCarthy

In the opening scene, Edward dashes Bella’s head against a rock and rapes her corpse. Then he and Jacob take off on an unexplained rampage through the West.

Jane Austen

Basically the same as the original, except that Bella is socially apt and incredibly witty. Her distrust of Edward is initially bourne out of a tragic misunderstanding of his character, but after a fling with Jacob during which he sexually assaults her (amusing to no one in this version) she and Edward live happily ever after.

Annie Proulx

Edward and Jacob defy society’s expectations up in the mountains.

Lewis Carroll

Bella takes acid and charts syllogisms.

James Joyce

Edward’s rapacious love for Bella reflects the way globalism has pillaged Ireland. It’s entirely written in Esperanto, with sections in untranslated Greek, except for Chapter 40, which is inexplicably rendered as a script page from the musical The Book of Mormon.

Dorothy Parker

Bella writes a brilliant takedown of the latest school play, dates a string of men, and repeatedly attempts suicide.

Kate Chopin

Stifled by her marriage to Edward, Bella has an affair with Jacob and then drowns herself.

Ernest Hemingway

Edward and Bella exchange terse dialogue alluding to Edward’s anatomical problem. Eventually, Bella leaves him for Jacob, a local bullfighter with a giant…sense of entitlement.

Ayn Rand

Edward tells Bella that he intends to stop saving her life, unless she starts paying him in gold bullion. Hatefucking ensues, then Jacob spouts objectivist philosophy for the next 100 pages.

Haruki Murakami: [Added by commenter Benk]

Bella has sex with Edward, who is half a ghost. Jacob is a talking cat. Most of the prose is given over to descriptions of Bella making pasta.

My addition:

Neil Gaiman

The story begins with a song. Then the song creates the world. Then major, minor and demi-gods appear. A hero’s journey in hell occurs, with Edward starring as the brooding, pissed off vampire who can’t drink blood because of a spell and must go to hell to break the spell. A duel of philosophical/existential dimensions ensue. Somebody gets swallowed up in a vagina. Edward saves the world by singing.

Terry Pratchett

The world is a flat disc on top of a turtle spinning on top of an elephant and Edward and Bella are on top of this world trying to save the world from witches and fairies and goblins and what-not.

George Lucas

Edward is Han Solo trying to save Princess Bella and Jacob Skywalker from the Evil Empire of Disapproving Vampires and Werewolves. A intergalactic civil war ensues. Vampires fly spaceships. Princess and Skywalker think they like each other, but realize they are related, so Edward gets the girl instead.

Ah, so many possible things could happen – if anyone but Stephanie Meyers wrote this series.

As Yoda said – “Endless,the possibilities are”.

“I adored the vampires for almost three seasons. But then the wolves came. Followed by the fairies. And then the witches. By the end of the fourth season, it was all a supernatural clusterfuck—heroine Sookie (Anna Paquin) was a hot mess in love with both amnesia-ridden Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) and the new King Bill (Stephen Moyer); Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) lost his love Jesus (Kevin Alejandro); Tara (Rutina Wesley) became a lesbian, cried a lot (of course), and probably died in the finale.  And I cared about none of it.”

As someone who has actually watched ALL seasons in one go, from Christmas to New Year of 2011, I have to agree with what the writer said.

I enjoyed Season 1 – it was low-key and quite easy to follow: there’s a serial killer, there’s the vampire rights fight, there’s the budding romance between Bill and Sookie. Then Season 2, we had the nymphs, the Queen Vampires, the fanatic anti-vampire churches, then Season 3, we had the werewolves, the werepanthers, and fairies, then in Season 4, we had the fairies, the witches, and so on.

As the seasons progressed, the more convoluted and confusing it became, and I felt like I needed not only a recap, but also some kind of chart or powerpoint presentation, just to keep track of all the storylines that came up and out of the show. I’m exhausted, actually, just from watching it.

It’s still better than “Glee” though.

Now, if only they can get the vampires, werewolves, werepanthers, witches and fairies, to sing…life would be complete. And then it couldn’t be any gayer than it already is!

Dailybeast.com has got me all excited about the movies to watch out for in 2012:

1. Hunger Games

This one looks exciting – it has the sleek editing of “The Island” with the harrowing sensibility of “Battle Royale” and “Lord of the Flies”.

2. The Avengers

Joss Whedon! Nuff said.

3. Brave

Plus, there’s also the new Batman movie, the Spiderman remake, the Great Gatsby and that new Quentin Tarantino movie “Django Unchained”.

Can’t wait!

Well, that’s exactly how I felt when I watched Season 2 of the popular “Glee” show. After a year of missing out on Season 2, I thought I’d missed much. As it happens, after watching Season 2 continuously, I realized I hadn’t missed much, and that I was actually better off just watching the more entertaining re-caps at afterellen.com (which I did when I couldn’t get cable overseas).

Where to start?

Well, let’s start with the fact that nothing much has changed in Season 2 except for the appearance of new faces: Coach Shanon Beiste (Dot Marie Jones) who replaces jilted Ken Tanaka (Patrick Gallagher), Sam Evans (Chord Overstreet), who serves as love interest to not one, not two, but three Glee Club members – Quinn Fabray (Diana Agron), Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera)  and Mercedes Jones (Amber Riley) (and who, incidentally, doesn’t really improve on the vocal stylings of the group, if there were any).

There’s also the guest appearances that confound and baffle: Gwyneth Paltrow as substitute teacher (does she even advance the plot at all?), Charice Pempengco (as Sunshine Corazon – word to the wise, NO ONE in the Philippines could be named Sunshine Corazon. Corazon is a first name, we usually have Latin/Hispanic sounding last names. Incidentally, I wanted more of Charice in Season 2, not less, because she’s a better singer than most of the Glee Club members), John Stamos (as Jemma May’s dysfunctional Emma Pillsbury’s love interest, Emma being Will Shuester’s love interest last season) who does nothing but look pretty, Coach Sue Sylvester’s mom (why?!?) and so on.

Next – the plot lines.There isn’t much here in way of originality or interesting/profound story lines. Fact of the matter is, if you are looking for better shows/movies (TV or on the big screen), you are better off watching (=gasp=) “High School Musical” (1, 2 and 3) because, as much as I hate to admit it, HSM is actually coherent and cohesive, and executed with professionalism and hard work. In fact, the subject of singing (and the request angst/confusion/glory of music and high school) were better explored in movies such as “Mr. Holland’s Opus”, “School of Rock” (yes, I loved that movie) and “Sister Act 2″ (yes, with a very young Lauryn Hill and that boy who sings that timeless classic, “Oh, Happy Day”). The list could go on and on, but you get my point. Suffice it to say that “Glee” Season 2, fails on so many levels.

Case in point:

Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) is still scheming to remove Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison) and his club from McKinley High and she will go to great lengths to do it, even so far as getting the loveable Principal Figgins fired and Schuester fired. Her Machiavellian machinations made for interesting fodder for Season 1, but that she would still be doing it, and doing it for 22 episodes in Season 2 (with a break from it when her sister inexplicably and randomly dies) is just tired, and borders on irritating.

Will Schuester is still in love with Emma, who is in love with dentist Carl (John Stamos), whilst Will is still being pursued by his ex-wife, Terry (Jessalyn Gilsig), who goes to annoying lengths by teaming up with Coach Sylvester to make Schuester leave Glee Club. I mean, seriously, this has got to be annoying. I found myself fastforwarding to these scenes – as there isn’t anything here I haven’t seen before.

Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) is with Rachel Berry (Lea Michelle) but can’t get Quinn Fabray out of his mind, especially when Quinn starts dating Sam. So Finn gets back with Quinn, but towards the end of the season, Finn suddenly wants to get back with Rachel. I find that the most excruciating scenes/episodes in Season 2 of Glee have to do with Finn, Rachel, Quinn and (by extension) Sam, which is pretty much every episode – which is about 22 hours of my life I could never have gotten back had engineers not invented that wonderful device – the fast forward button on my DVD player.  It’s always baffled me why Finn is in the Glee Club anyway, he’s a second-rate singer who can’t dance with a lead part in the series,  a part that’s clearly undeserved except he has the looks for it. Supporting characters Noah Puckerman (Mark Salling), Artie Abrams (Kevin McHale), Santana, and Mercedes are infinitely better singers than he is, but I don’t understand why he keeps getting solos EVERY SINGLE episode and he doesn’t just get one or two solos, sometimes he gets in on the group singing,too! Finn’s character seems weak, indecisive, self-righteous and inexplicably lacking in balls – as when he couldn’t stand up to bully Dave Karofsky (Max Adler) when Dave bullies his stepbrother Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer),when he can’t decide  between Rachel and Quinn (or keep either girls).

Puckerman gets involved with Lauren Zizes (Ashley Fink), but didn’t he also get involved with Mercedes in Season 1?Artie has gone from mildly annoying to intensely annoying – the character is blah and unlikeable, like IKEA furniture and I wondered why he didn’t go, although it’s probably because of the minority quota this show seems to have.

They had auditions in Season 1, and they also did Auditions in Season 2 (it was the first episode, in fact) , which they also did in Season 3. They also did “Duets” in Season 1, but they also did “Duets” in season 2.  There is also an episode dedicated to “Acceptance” with the song “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga, but they already did that in Season 1, with everyone dressing up as Lady Gaga, to the tune of “Bad Romance”.

The only bright spot here is the coming out of Santana Lopez as lesbian – although that kind of leaves question marks all over as well, as she did not give any indication at all that she actually played exclusively on only one team. If she played for any team, it was actually on both teams.Her journey though, through Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” and “Songbird” were quite touching, although I did not appreciate the lesbian stereotypes (Tribeca? hairdos? etc.). Then again, Hollywood has always had trouble dealing with lesbian/bisexual women’s coming out and staying out stories. I do not know why – although I suspect it has more to do with extended mysoginistic/sexist tropes on gay women in general.I did quite enjoy watching Santana’s scenes with Brittany.

Kurt’s budding romance with Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss) was also one of the highs of Season 2, and in fact, this is the reason why I wondered why they couldn’t get the gay women coming out storyline. They handled this one with sensitivity and tenderness.

Aside from that, there was much randomness all around. A Britney Spears episode?!? Check. The football team has a half-time part where they sing and dance with both the Cheerios and the Glee Club? Check. Guest characters randomly appearing out of nowhere? Check. And also, towards the Season finale – the Glee Club gets to the Nationals, with no song, no practice, no nothing, and wonder why they lose.

Convoluted, incoherent, confounding, annoying, Glee has lost the steam (and originality) to actually sustain a show that is about musicals. You are better off hunting down better shows than this one. For a more layered, sensitive portrayal of angsty high school teens, you don’t need to look farther than “Buffy”.

Glee Season 2 has failed to deliver.

It is one of the shows that’s stayed on air longer than it should.

This June, the UN Council passed a groundbreaking resolution “condemning discrimination and violence against LGBT individuals”, whilst expressing grave concern at the “acts of violence and discrimination, in all regions of the world, committed against individuals because of their sexual orientation and gender identity[.]”

The guardian.co.uk reports that

“Members of the UN human rights council narrowly voted in favour of the resolution put forward by South Africa, against strong opposition from African and Islamic countries.

Couched in delicate diplomatic language, the resolution commissions a study of discrimination against gay men and lesbians around the world, the findings of which will be discussed by the Geneva-based council at a later meeting.”

In other news, “X-Men: First Class” manages to thrill and to excite in equal measure. With its barely subtle metaphors and parallels on the struggles of LGBT people and mutants (“You didn’t ask, I didn’t tell” and “Mutant and Proud”), it manages to make a historical event sound exciting and heart-stopping. Set during the Cuban Missile Crisis in the 60s, it has that “Smallville”/”Superman-used-to-be-bestfriends-with-Lex-Luthor”deal: Eric Lenscher (Michael Fassbender), our would-be-Magneto is a deeply traumatized, pseudo-007 circa “Quantum of Solace” psychopath bent on exacting revenge on equally psychotic WWII Nazi scientist Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), until he meets the privileged up-and-coming Oxford professor, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) more, who helps him channel his anger to summon his powers at will (between serenity and rage), foster brother of Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence). Along the way,the CIA manage to bring mutants together (and introduce some interesting characters, like Havoc, Beast before he turned beastly, and Banshee, with January Jones as Emma Frost – yay!). The mutants manage to avert the Cuban missile crisis, Magneto manages to destroy Sebastian Shaw, and the seeds of the mutant vs. mutant conflict arise.

Anyway, in some ways, the UN resolution recognizing that gay rights are human rights is timely. Even as we speak, a lot of LGBT people across the world are being used, abused, violated, killed or are killing themselves because of their sexuality. A landmark resolution recognizing gay rights might go a long way to pave the way for advancing gay rights.

Happy Pride Month everyone!

The Advocate.com came out with a cool article on what people’s first gay crushes were, and since I thought that would be fun, I decided to come out with my own.

My first gay crushes then were:

1. Hayley Mills – yes, the original actor from the original “Parent Trap”. Nickolodeon was showing an endless string of Hayley Mills movies and I don’t know…I just started crushing on her.

Hayley Mills. Hot. Nuff said.

2. Alice Dixon – I dunno about you – but…that soap (?)commercial where she says, “I Can Feel It!” still gives me goosebumps! And makes me wanna shower!

3. Carmina Villaroel – When she was still in That’s Entertainment.

What about you? Who was your first crush?

“Thor” rocks with newcomer Chris Hemsworth at the helm (and Natalie Portman doesn’t annoy as much as nerdy scientist in love with Thor, too!), and Kenneth Branagh behind the scenes, while “X-men: First Class”, though not offering anything new, is actually quite watchable, and, dare I say it, enjoyable!

“Kung Fu Panda:2″ delights and touches the heart in equal measure. What can I say but that it is epic and thoroughly awesome, a homage to those Jacky Chan kung fu movies I used to watch a kid.

Science fiction knows how to play around with sex and gender. The free-lovin’ of A Stranger in A Strange Land, Commander Shepard’s bisexual proclivities, and William T. Riker’s seemingly universal interspecies compatibility are constant sources of entertainment.

And the fun doesn’t stop with organic entities. Androids, cyborgs, and robots make gender all the stranger. Why is Data fully functional? Isn’t it curious that, of all the characters in Ghost in the Shell the two most heavily cyberized characters, Motoko and Batou, are hyper-feminine and hyper-masculine respectively? And, my favorite: as a robot Bender has no gender, so if Bender bends his gender, what gender does Bender bend?

Sci-fi sex is fun to talk about, of course, but how can all of that help us understand the actual future of humanity? Simply put: we imagine what we hope to see. So the question is: what is it we imagine and hope for? An utter free-for-all of alien-cyborg-A.I. bacchanalia? I don’t think so. Instead, sci-fi is teaching the diversity of our own human sexuality back to us.

Science fiction allows for universes in which we can more easily accept alien forms of gender expression and sexual desire. For example, Ruby Rhod from The Fifth Element is perfectly and outrageously androgynous. In a normal action flick, I suspect Rhod would be a controversial and possibly distracting figure. In science fiction, however, Rhod is just another character caught up in the chaos. Sci-fi lets us explore sexuality free of the cultural and social baggage it carries in the here and now.

For more, click here.

THE COMING royal wedding in England and the beatification of Pope John Paul II in Rome will afford the world a chance to see how two ancient institutions—the monarchy and the papacy—reinforce their claim to perpetuity and continuing relevance by a show of pomp and pageantry. Supposed to be historical rivals, especially considering their religious wars since the 16th century, these two institutions have in the recent past have come to some form of rapprochement, preoccupied as they have been with the more basic issue of survival. For the monarchy of the United Kingdom, the downsizing of the British empire at the start of the 20th century, culminating in the Hong Kong turnover in 1997, has been a continuing problematic transition….

Another form of spectacle will happen in Rome on May 1, when Pope Benedict XVI beatifies his well-loved predecessor, John Paul the Great. Like the British royal family, the Holy See hopes that the celebration would help the Church burnish its image—badly damaged by pedophile priest scandals in the United States and Europe. But it’s remote whether the society of the spectacle would apply to the Church since spectacle and fetishization as forms of capitalist development hardly can be ascribed to an institution that has historically resisted unfettered capitalism and the more godless aspects of modernity….

“Spectacle” for the Church goes by the name of liturgy, in which signs and symbols, linked with words, converge in congeries of meaning and value. And since the Church claims to be universal as to include not only all races and peoples living today, but also the Church triumphant in Heaven and the Church suffering in Purgatory, the beatification of someone who has passed on and universally acclaimed since then as among the heavenly elect is one spectacular show of all-encompassing communion, a truly border-less world, if there was one. At the least, it’s a conceit that could only be granted to an institution that’s 2,000 years old and still thriving against all odds.

for more click here.