L-WORD DVD Marathon: Season 5, Episode 4

EPISODE 4

Before the opening credit: Yet another snippet from the ill-advised “Lez Girls” production (because, really, do you really want to see the same old story on a movie when you can actually just go get your “L-Word” DVD of Season 1 and watch that instead?), this time of the auditions for who would be playing Jesse, who essentially is the barely-fictionalized Jenny. Thus we have scenes of actresses auditioning for what we are made to believe is a very coveted role (although I mostly think this is just Jenny’s version of reality).

In this episode:

Kit is taking up self-defense classes since she got naturally spooked by the robbery in the last episode (although I still think she should improve her cash-handling skills first…and why does she not have security as well?!?). That entails, of course, the whole gang going with her, meaning Tina, Bette, Jodi (but no sign of Tom anywhere), Alice, Jenny, Shane, Shane’s missing vagina (don’t look at me, I don’t write this sh*t). Where, pray tell is baby Angelica? My only answer is, I don’t know. And anyway, being the self-sufficient that she is, she probably already knew self-defense, despite dialogue to the contrary between her parents Bette and Tina.

During the class, a series of conversations ensue: Jenny finds out Natalie Portman passed on the Jesse/Jenny starring role in her “Lez Girls” movie (which is kind of funny for me, because the likelihood of the actual Natalie Portman starring in an all-lesbian sex-fest movie is about as likely as the actual Natalie Portman actually guest-starring in “The L-Word”. But namedrop Christina Ricci and it would have been a whole different ballgame) and is so unhappy about it she hits Tina a bit too harshly. Bette finds out Tina had a hot date and one-night stand with the surgically augmented heart surgeon and hits Jodi a bit too harshly. Moreover, Bette and Tina find themselves partners in a demo of a self-defense move, and you can literally feel the sexual tension oozing from their pores. What are the odds Jodi will be out of the picture anytime soon? Shane is called by the instructor for a demo and this obviously does not bode well for the trying-to-be-celibate-lothario.

Meanwhile, Alice’s lack of supervision on her website, OurChart.com encourages Max to sneak in her two-cents’ worth about FTM transsexuals. Alice eventually finds out, reprimands her, reluctantly offers her a guest column, but not without further alienating Max by telling her it’s a lesbian website, not a website for transsexuals. Alice’s unhappiness about Max’s guerilla-type tactics are soon forgotten when a couple of military investigators barge into her apartment, intent on proving that Tasha is gay simply by association with the very out Alice. Visibly ruffled by the visit, Alice tries to de-gay-ify her apartment more so as to pass for straight. This, in turn, freaks Tasha out, sending her on a rampage and a midnight visit to her uncooperative legal counsel, who, as it turns out, is not only uncooperative, but uninformed, in the dark and severely homophobic. An imlied confrontation with aforementioned legal counsel and his wife though has implied a change of heart for said legal counsel when he ends up on Alice’s doorstep talking to Tasha, who,as it happens, has spent the night with Alice. In her room. Buck nekkid. I don’t know how these things work, but if Tasha is supposed to be lying low, why is she spending the night with the gayest woman in LA?

Meanwhile, Bette has her hands full with a complaint from an art student about another art student who staged a performance art session involving a fake gun infront of Jodi’s class. Jodi is unfazed, Bette is annoyed to reprimand her and skip a possibly dirty night with her (well, only as I gleaned from Jodi’s gestures, which,in retrospect, look really dirty. Still not feelin’ the heat between these two. They have about as much heat as two ajumas talking about the weather).

Tina, on the other hand, is busy trying to keep her sanity while her dickhead boss and Jenny argue about which actor should play Jesse/Jenny, showing complete control even as Jenny, high on nicotine gum, spits her gum on the table, and while Jenny’s new assistant, Adele tries to ever so carefully insinuate herself into the proceedings (Points for Tina for looking hot as these proceedings are going on).

Shane, meanwhile, is failing miserably, at this celibacy thing. We can see this from her seeing naked women all around where there is none. Kit’s one-liners and pie don’t help either. To take her mind off sex, she invites Jenny to a new club (this two look good together as friends…together they almost seem…normal, somehow), She-Bar, owned by a couple of party-loving lesbians, Dawn Denbo (Catherine Keener) and her lover, Cindy (this is actually their introduction to anyone who cares to listen – and it never gets old, and it always makes me feel like laughing hysterically everytime I hear it).

At the She-Bar:

Bette and Jodi arrive, followed by Kit, then Tom, then Shane, Jenny, Jenny’s assistant, starlet Nikki Stevens (Kate French) the one replacing Natalie Portman (apparently) as the star of Jenny’s “Lez Girls”. Tina and her heart-surgeon date are already there, apparently already having fun. There, they meet Dawn Denbo and her lover, Cindy who, as I already mentioned, introduces herself as “Dawn Denbo and this is my lover, Cindy”.

Bette, Kit and Jodi already find the She-Bar scene old and try to leave, but Bette needs to stay behind since she promised Shane she would not leave without her. Shane, meanwhile, is busy shagging Dawn Denbo and her lover, Cindy in the VIP lounge, so I guess it’s safe to say that that celibacy thing is over. Jenny and starlet Nikki are busy trying to like each other, courtesy of Adele, who arranged the meeting between them. Meanwhile, Tina is hiding from her party-loving heart-surgeon date, realizing that She-Bar and partying is so not her scene as well (three words: Angelica Porter-Kennard. Who must already be racking up issues to discuss with her therapist once she’s old enough to afford her own). This is where Bette finds her, in one of the thinly-veiled rooms, where she confesses her aversion of bar-hopping and partying to Bette. This confession leads to an unexpected, long-awaited kiss that is very much worth it all throughout.

Notes:

1. Lez Girls – How do you pronounce it anyway? It’s spelled Lez Girls, so I assume you pronounce it with the /z/ but everyone keeps pronouncing it the French way, like Les Girls (like Les Miserables), so I’m confused. Then again, it’s not even appropriately titled. If it were, then Tina and her dickhead boss would have less of that “it’s-not-marketable!” arguments.

2. Angelica – where art thou?!?

 

Two days before Christmas: What to do? But of course! An L-Word DVD Marathon!

L-WORD DVD Marathon: Season 5

 

So I have been holding out on watching Season 5 of the L-Word since Dana Fairbank’s death. I had already watched Season 6 and thought its incomprehensible, incoherent, illogical David Lynch-inspired ending (Silencio! Silencio! Yo no comprende!), Jenny’s death, and the overall negativity of the show finale really burned me and made me swear off watching L-Word for good. Especially since Season 4 was lackluster and Season 3 was simply that season that killed off Dana. But after much encouragement from friends (gay and straight) who saw Season 5 and thought it the best season, I finally relented – since I have nothing better to do anyway, and watching  The L-Word is much better than moping around at home and getting all Grinch-y about Christmas. This is an entertainment blog, first and foremost, afterall!

 

Episode 1

 

 

After the “previously on the L-Word” (meaning the aforementioned lackluster, ho-hum Season 4), the season opens with a more upbeat tone: Jenny writes a new treatment of her script, “Lez Girls” (which, as fans have pointed out, is a recap of Season 1 of “The L-Word”, but from Jenny Schecter’s warped POV). Jesse (Jenny) is right smack in episode 1 of Season 1 of the L-Word/Lez Girls, the party scene, where Nina (Tina) plays a more predatory, campy version of the real (fictional?) Tina, freaking Jesse/Jenny out by hitting on her. Nina/Tina is joined by Bev (Bette) and Shaun (Shane) and the intro ends with Jenny smiling and that annoying opening credit song/recap-in-itself.

The season though still seems more interesting and then I knew why: director Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S., Herbie: Fully Loaded, Girltrash!) is on-board. I rest my case.

There have been a lot of recaps of all the L-Word seasons, so mine will just be short:

Bette (Jennifer Beals) and Tina (Laurel Holloman) are getting along (quite well, I note), nursery school hunting, competing with other gay parents (playing the “my family’s gayer and more diverse than yours” game and winning), trying to survive interviews with nursery school heads, surviving Bette’s sometimes soccer-mom-hair and trying to navigate the murky waters of lovers-n0w-exes and trying not to be interested in each other’s love and sex lives. I still adore these two though (since Season 2), and they still look like the hot MILFs that I adore.

Helena Peabody (Rachel Shelley) has been arrested and imprisoned for that gambling thingamajig from Season 4 with that hot gambler chick in the ultimate cheesy, campy same sex prison-movie kind of plot that, to actor Rachel Shelley’s credit, she can pull off with just the right amount of comic aplomb, right down to the “bend over” scene.

Jenny Shecter (Mia Kirshner) is back from floating off in a raft on the sea (I know, WTF, right?) from Season 4, with a revised script, a new daddy, hedge fund billionaire William Holsey (Wallace Shaun) who share her love of manatees in the script and in real life. In this episode, she is driving her Episcopalian, church-loving assistant mad with her insane requests regarding her pet dog, Sounder II (Sounder I being the dog from the ill-advised Season 4) and requests to make rainbow-based filing systems for her fictional characters on Sundays, and driving her executive producer, Tina, nuts with her refusal to accept sticky notes and criticism on her script since she believes Tina has no right to criticize Jenny’s work since Tina is not an artist herself (although I think Jenny seems to forget that Tina has been with art gallery owner/dean/art collector Bette. Jenny seems to have forgotten the scene after the opening credits of this episode, where Tina has just announced her fervent love of art…what? You’ll get what I mean when you see some scenes of “Lez Girls”later on, where whole scenes from “The L-Word” ’s season 1 seem to be lifted off, which implies that Jenny seems to be omniscient). Bette, who still is not amused by Jenny’s point-by-point adaptation of Bette’s life, is still cold towards Jenny, something that Shane (who has proven, time and time again, to be the only person who gets Jenny) tries to resolve but fails to do so.

Alice Pieszecki’s (Leisha Hailey) chart has expanded to OurChart.com, with Max Sweeney (Daniela Sea) turning her chart into a social networking site, complete with blogs, guestbians and podcasts. She holds her podcasts at the Planet, with weekly “guestbians” entertaining her viewers. Alice though, seems to have entered a phase of trans-phobia, pointedly excluding Max from podcast discussions of transsexual issues (which does not make sense to me). Alice’s girlfriend, Tasha Williams (Rose Rollins) is absent in the episode except for the last few minutes, since she was supposed to ship out to Iraq. The military though delays her departure and she gets to spend that time to give Alice a surprise visit/booty call, ending up doing it in Alice’s hallway (But! The dust! The dirt! The grime! Aw, crap!).

In this episode, Alice gets Bette’s boss, newly-out middle-aged lesbian academic Phyllis (Cybill Shepherd, Moonlighting) who is currently enjoying a very healthy sex life with new partner, gay lawyer Joyce Wischnia (Jane Lynch, Glee), who, as it happens, seems to the be only lesbian lawyer in LA. Phyllis has become an apt pupil of encyclopaedia lesbiana/lesbian culture, absorbing every term and practice (lipstick lesbians! butch lesbians! u-hauls! the “T” in LGBT (T is for tentative! Yay! Cheeky!)! transsexuals! vanilla sex! etc.) like a sponge. She has even agreed to a coming out party at the Planet sponsored by partner Joyce and slammed Alice’s vanilla sex ways. Yep, Phyllis is on a roll!

Shane McCutcheon (Kate Moennig) is apartment-hunting with Paige (Kristanna Loken, Terminator III: Rise of the Machines a.k.a., Android Erection), but really is just back to her old habits, screwing the real estate agent in apartment that Paige and son, Jared are checking out (ho-hum…Shane’s M.O. is old). Can you blame Paige for burning down Shane’s salon/skateboard hang-out after?

Bette is still going strong with Jodi Lerner (absolutely fab Marlee Matlin, Children of a Lesser God), kissing whenever they can, sending aforementioned ex, Tina, into subtle fits of jealousy. It does not help that Tina’s possible love interest from last season, Kate-Somebody has been fired from the studio, and Bette seems to alternately gloat and look relieved at the idea that her ex is single and very available. What Tina does not realize though is that all is not well in Bette’s paradise, since not only does she lack heat with Jodi, but Jodi does not seem to find Bette’s surprise dinners for her and general control freak behavior as adorable as Tina (and the rest of us) does. Plus, Jodi blindfolding Bette during sex is kind of the equivalent of watching soccer moms have kinky sex, so Tina should not have to worry.

Tina, sans her longing for hot fellow-MILF and ex, Bette (The Hotness!), is on a roll herself, as a movie studio mogul (executive producer and vice president at Shaolin Studios), who seems to have the magical ability to juggle Jenny’s craziness with that of her colleagues and bosses and friends (Alice, Shane, Helena). Best scenes: when Alice and Shane try to help her hook up, banning her from hanging out with Bette too much because that dims her prospects of ever getting laid ever again, when Alice and Shane try to help her hook up with a hot academic at Phyllis’ coming out party at The Planet, when Alice and Shane argue with her about Helena during a jail visit, where Tina insists that since Helena’s an alpha female, she must thus, heretofore assert herself on fellow prisoners so as to establish rule over her prison-kingdom. Best advice they give Helena: “Don’t drop the soap.”

Overall a strong first episode for Season 5, although I had, at first, some suspicions and misgivings, afterall, this is the L-Word, where somebody suddenly mysteriously dies of cancer, somebody suddenly grows a penis, a man can be a lesbian, and..you get what I mean.

Anyway, some notes though:

1. Angelica, Bette and Tina’s daughter, is the cutest kid ever. I wish she had more lines and more screen time with the moms. Next note: Why are Bette and Tina always at parties?!? I’m unmarried and childless, but judging from my friendships with married and/or with-children (gay and straight) couples, their priorities always change once the kids start coming. They don’t party or much less find time to do anything else. I have this feeling Angelica will be raised by nannies/babysitters til she turns 18, at which point she’ll realize she hates her lesbian moms and starts going on a rampage. But then again, that’s just me. And while we’re on the subject, these people don’t seem to be normal. I have never, not once, seen them do anything domestic, like most normal LGBT people are.

2. Jenny, I’ve missed you. Why did you have to die?!?

3. Shane still going at her lothario-loving ways. Shane, grow up.

4. Kit Porter. Watch the whole season, hell, the whole show, and you’ll notice that her speech always consists of “Girl”, continues with [insert short opinion here, in slang] and ends with [uh-huh/mhhmm].

5. Is Jenny omniscient?

6. Poor Max. Always being excluded. I wish he could have had some kind of more interesting, positive ”Trans-America” storyline where he gets to show off his chest, abs and newly acquired organ.

7. Angela Robinson. ‘Nuff said.

Quoted here last: Jessica Zafra and Conrado de Quiros on success

From Jessica Zafra’s blog post “This just in” :

“I think it’s a good policy to aim too high. It is more practical to be overly ambitious than to set a goal that is well within range of your abilities. How is this possible?

Well, if you aim low and fail, you put your talent and competence in doubt. You want so little but you still don’t get it, so maybe you don’t have what it takes.

However, if you overreach and you don’t achieve your goal, it will be viewed as a case of wanting too much rather than a simple failure due to insufficient skill. Even if you really do lack the skills and are a complete twerp. People will see the ambition first…”

read more of her post here…

And Conrado de Quiros backs it up in his column, “There’s the Rub” on inquirer.net:

Success…build confidence…As you can see from Pacquiao today—he is more confident than ever. But isn’t the opposite true as well? Doesn’t confidence also produce success?

You have to wonder on a broader plane if that is not the thing that has held us back from making the kind of giant steps Pacquiao has…

I have a friend who was thought of being aggressive and boastful by his classmates. Not surprisingly, he made it big in America.

Of course there’s a level at which frankness becomes bluntness, assertion becomes abrasiveness, outspokenness becomes loudness. You get a lot of that in US airports, a stunning contrast with Narita where the personnel are awesomely polite but just as awesomely efficient. But just as well there is a level where obedience becomes submissiveness, respect for authority becomes mindlessness, and patience is no longer a virtue. Certainly they can stand in the way of the dogged pursuit of greater goals, or giant dreams.

Read more of de Quiros’ column here.

Hmmm….Is this why I probably have difficulty finding a job? Because during interviews I exude a confidence that may border on arrogance? Because I refuse to be less ambitious? Because I believe in something more than just corporate things?

If so, this makes me feel better. I am on the right track.

You should too.

 

Film watch list: What have I been watching?!?

Back from a long hiatus. What have I been watching thus far? Well…

The Proposal – Sandra Bullock is the fire-breathing, man-eating incarnation of Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada), albeit a watered down, less scarier, version. She is a Canadian book editor who faces deportation if she does not fix her visa status soon. Enter nice book editor’s assistant, the secretly rich, quiet Ryan Reynolds who reluctantly agrees to marry her so she can get a spouse visa. Sparks fly. Dogs fly. Guess how it ends? Sidebar: I am sorry. I could not finish this. I just feel that Sandra Bullock is too old to be in romantic comedies. Why can she not be like other fortysomething Hollywood movie stars and star in a movie where she actually acts her age?!?

I Could Never Be Your Woman -  Michelle Pfeiffer is a successful TV executive producer and a single mom juggling between the responsibilities of work and home. Enter Paul Rudd as the young break out actor who falls for her. Sparks fly. Cute one-liners fly. Movie falls flat. Amy Heckerling directed this. So that makes you scratch your head. I do not know why this one has not done better. Perhaps it is because they were trying to pass Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd off as younger, trying to make a non-issue as an issue, trying to make a conflict out of nothing, trying to make a movie that just does not quite compute.

Garden State – Zach Braff plays a young struggling New York actor cum waiter who comes home for his mother’s funeral. Estranged from his father, alienated from his hometown, the character does not know what to do and I do not know what to make of this film as well. Natalie Portman is thrown in in the middle of the mix as a chronic liar with epileptic fits, but even her charm does not save this movie. The problem? Nothing happens. Literally nothing happens in the movie, the whole entire time.

The Sweetest Thing – I know this is an old one, but since I had to go through it, I might as well write about it. Cameron Diaz and her lady friends spend their time hanging out and hooking up (unfortunately not with each other). Apparently they all have issues. Cameron Diaz’s character is afraid of relationships, and her other two friends cannot just have enough sex (in fact, Selma Blair’s character’s jaw gets stuck in an uncompromising position while doing it) and…well, that’s it really.

The Heartbreak Kid – Ben Stiller has relationship issues. Encouraged by family and friends (note to self: never listen to family and friends), he proposes to the first woman he meets on the street and she turns out to be a total psycho (creepy that). On their honeymoon, he meets the perfect woman (Michelle Monaghan). Sparks fly. Lies fly. Fights ensue. This one is actually funny.

Made of Honor – Patrick Dempsey has relationship issues. He is bestfriends with Michelle Monaghan and is in love with her but does not realize it until she leaves for Scotland and comes back with a rich Scottish fiance. Sparks fly. Montages fly.  Guess how it ends?!?

The Ugly Truth – This one is actually more fun. Katherine Heigl (look how nicely she’s filled out since those “Roswell” days!) is a successful TV executive producer (aren’t they always?) with relationship issues. She has a crush on the neighborhood hottie but can’t quite work up the courage to ask him out. Enter totally un-PC, totally woman-hating Gerald Butler (without the “300″ get-up…so sad!) who teaches her how to play the dating game without looking like a total dork. Sparks fly. Vibrating panties fly (best scene that, actually. This redeems the movie for me). Happy endings for everyone.

Mary and Max – Eight-year old Mary from Australia, and 40something obese man from New York, Max, strike up a friendship as pen pals. The story chronicles how each one go through life. A touching, bittersweet, heartfelt animated film.

Zombieland – Funny take on zombie movies, with Woody Harrelson starring, with funny cameo from comedian Bill Murray. Mixes tongue-in-cheek humor with indie sensibility. Winning formula! Now a hit in the USA.

Reading list: What I have been reading for the past few days….

So I have survived three typhoons in the Philippines and am waiting for a new typhoon off the east coast of northern Philippines  to come ravage this country yet again.

To entertain myself, I have been reading books. Here are the books I have finished thus far:

Ever since I read Balzac’s “Pere Goriot” I have developed an interest in French authors (Marcel Proust notwithstanding) and this second book I have from Balzac (bought at 20 pesos at a booksale), does not fail to disappoint. This is the story of Grandet the miser, his clueless wife and even more clueless daughter, Eugenie Grandet, subject of much fascination and gossip, as she could well be the richest young woman outside Paris. Set in post-revolutionary France, this novel is a delight to read, with its vivid descriptions of French aristocrats, nobles, the nouveau riche and the peasants. It provides a good insight into post-revolutionary French life and preoccupation as well as provides insight into the one human universal preoccupation: greed.

The Blood King by Gail Z. Martin. Let’s face it. Fantasy novels are a dime a dozen. I personally have a soft spot for Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman and am always very wary of any other fantasy (relatively unknown) writer with a novel that may probably be just another rip-off of another novel. But then again, we live in a post-modern world. So is there really anything original anymore in a world where everything seems always readily accessible? Anyway, my ex sent me this novel knowing that I had a penchant for sci-fi and fantasy novels (she sent me the complete “Twilight” series as well, bless her soul). I was not looking to be entertained by this novel, but a few pages into this novel and I really got into it. There is supposed to be a book 1 and I was a bit bummed at the prospect that I’d have to go hunting for book 3, but I was pleasantly surprised that second book stands all on its own and wraps all the loose ends from Book 1. In a nutshell: Power-mad, evil Prince Jared Drayke has assassinated his father, driven younger half-brother Prince Martris Drayke out of the kingdom and enlisted the help of evil mage Arontala to take control of all the Winter Kingdoms and resurrect the all-powerful evil,the Obsidian King (think all the evil villains of other fantasy novels like Sauron and He-who-must-not-be-named and you get the idea). Matris Drayke discovers he is a summoner and a mage himself and must control and summon all his powers in order to defeat his brother and mage Arontala and prevent the Obsidian King from coming back from the dead. My summary does not do it justice, but suffice it to say that it is a good read. Lord of the Rings it isn’t, but it sure as hell is an entertaining one.

I have also finished “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe” by Fanny Flagg (2o pesos at Booksale! Yay!). I’ve already watched the movie, the story is pretty much the same, but the novel is not specific about the sexuality aspect of the two female protagonists as well. That one’s left for the imaginatino.

And now, I am reading one of my favorite fantasy novelists, Ursula K. Le Guinn, and her book, “Sea Road”. More on that later.

Jobhunting, Pinoy style 5: The rejection letter…

A letter I just received in my email today:

Thank you for your interest in joining E*******************.We have carefully reviewed your application for the ************** Specialist position as it relates to the Training Department’s present requirements.  Although your overall background is good, we regret to inform you that we are unable to further process your application.

There were other candidates whose qualifications were closer to the Department’s requirements at this time.Rest assured that the results of all evaluations would be held with strict confidentiality and that we’ll be keeping your file on active status for future vacancies.

We wish you the best of luck in your current endeavors and express our sincere appreciation for your interest in applying.

This would have been my reply had I no sense of propriety or manners (yes, I am a bit pissed…bear with me…):

Dear *************,

Thank you so much for your email. I appreciate you taking the time to email me a well-written rejection letter.

But in future, please note the following:

1. Please do not make applicants who come from other provinces travel seven hours to Manila just to take an idiotic test on abstract reasoning, verbal reasoning, mathematical reasoning and the like then send them back again to wherever they came from to wait for your next call.

2. Please do not wait a week for said results to come through, have another interview, then ask the applicant to come straight to Manila for a teaching demo and a panel interview.

3. Should you interview your applicant at 11am, please do so. Making them wait for 30 minutes to an hour so you can go out and have some Starbucks frappes is just rude, rude, rude. Especially since the applicant saw you come in and out of the building oh so leisurely, with nary a thought about the applicant who just came from a nine-hour trip (the travel route had been changed because of the typhoon).

4. The applicant finds your condescension and your apparent lack of preparedness appalling. In future, stupid jokes and inane comments should be kept at a minimum, as are loud chatter during a teaching demo.

5. Your day will come. Burn in hell.

I feel better now.

Vigan! Laoag! Batac! Sarrat!

So…it’s been a year or so since I’ve visited the Ilocos. I grew up in Baguio, but the grandparents hail from the North, and though I am as much a mountain person as the next one, I am more Ilocano than anything and I do love the Ilocos.

So, armed with a few shirts, shorts, and a friend, I traveled to Vigan in the middle of a storm over the weekend.

I chose the Partas bus, which is one of the more popular buses coming from Baguio that goes to Ilocos, got off at Narvacan, got a mini-bus, and got off at Vigan. We would have gotten the Laoag-bound bus, but we missed that one, and was forced to get the one going to Abra, hence the need to get off at Narvacan.

From Vigan, we had lunch around 2pm, got a calesa (tip to tourists going to Vigan: get the calesas, support the cocheros, they know where to go naman e) which charges about 150 pesos an hour. I didn’t bother to haggle, the driver (cochero) was old and seemed in need of the money anyway. The driver took us wherever we wanted to go: the Bantay Belltower and church, pottery shop (one of the finest in Vigan), the museum (which we skipped), the garden (which we skipped), the Baluarte zoo (which we did’t skip), which was, at the moment, just full of deer, ducks and five tigers.

From Baluarte, we were driven to the highlight of the calesa trip: the cobbled-stone streets of Vigan, always a favorite of mine, where you can see the finest souvenirs of Vigan.

We took the bus to Laoag, spent the night there and went around the next day.

You can rent a van or some other form of transportation when you are there, but since I have relatives in Ilocos, I saved a lot on that.

We first went to Paoay, site of the world-famous Paoay church, significant not only for the design of the church, but for its historical significance: Katipuneros used to use to place as a hideout and a lookout area. We then went to Batac, where Ferdinand Marcos’ body was ensconced in a museum, surrounded by his houses.Then we went to the place where he was born, in Sarrat, a simple two story house preserved for our viewing pleasure. Lastly we went to the Malacanang of the North, overlooking Paoay lake, where the late president used to go to work when he was on holiday.

What can I say but that Ilocos is a beautiful place? I shall go back there soon again.

Typhoon Ondoy: Yes, world, we are alive…and still kicking…

Friends and acquaintances have been asking if I’ve come from Manila and express surprise that I am alive and very much kicking.

Head’s up people: we Filipinos are extremely resilient, and no amount of floodwater is going to change that.

As to why I, for one remain unscathed, it is only because I was in Vigan and Laoag at the height of the typhoon, riding calesas, busy climbing bell towers, checking out zoos, taking photos of lots of nifty 15th century Catholic churches, trying not to get wet and pretty much trying not to get wet.

More on that later.

In the meantime, if you have something to donate, money, clothes, your time, whatever, go to the nearest website supporting survivors of the typhoon and donate, instead of reading my blog.

Balikbayan Blues (again): Ano bang meron sa mga libro? or why do I read?!?

So coming back to the Philippines, I am amazed by the kind of negativity, skepticism and cynicism here.

Consider this:  31 year old acquaintance thinks because she graduated from a reputable university, feels she is entitled to share her unsolicited advice and opinion to me about my current situation to wit:

1. Upon expressing to her my desire to have my poems published: she says I am apparently too old to get published.

2. I should have studied in her reputable university.

3. I should meet her (gay) friends because her friends are “da bomb”.

Hay.

I do feel like gagging her (andf myself) with a spoon.

I have another friend who sees my roomful of books and asks me, with such derision in her voice: “Ano bang meron jan?” (roughly translated meaning: what do you get from there anyway?)

Surprised by her outburst, I could not give her a sufficient answer. But I have taken the time to write one now, and here is the reason why I read books:

1. Because I read my first story about a flying twig when I was 7 and that gave a lonely child something to hope for.

2. Because I read Charles Dickens when I was 12 and it made me dream of something other than Baguio… and dream of London.

3. Because I’d read Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Van Helsing and even though I was a small-town little girl who couldn’t go anywhere, I could go places, on foot, on horseback, a raft, a ship, in a submarine, having adventures and making Campbellian journeys over and over again.

4. Because Homer, Ovid, Chaucer, Milton made history fascinating, mythological, mythical, magical. Because Beowulf and Gilgamesh showed me what valour and honor there was in fighting for what you believe in.

5. Because Shakespeare taught me to love and to love passionately and elegantly.

6. Because Plato taught me to know myself, because the unexamined life is not worth living, because Descartes taught me to question reality and reflect about truth, existence, the meaning of life.

7. Because Nietzche taught me that existence precedes essence.

8. Because Gabriel Garcia Marquez showed me that Eden can be reimagined, and reimagined creatively… in South America.

9. Because Rainier Maria Rilke taught me the importance of overcoming shyness, so that I can fully experience life.

10. Because Antoine de Sainte Exupery taught me that what is essential is invisible to the eye, that it is only with the eye that one can see rightly, that a rose by any another name is still a rose, because it is your rose, and because you have tamed it and you responsible for what you have tamed forever.

11. Because Neil Gaiman showed that you can still reimagine Snow White and Terry Pratchett created a world shaped like a disc held by elephants, where wizards can have eyes that look like runny sunny-side up eggs, and gold twinkle and wink.

12. Because F. Sionil Jose taught me that social justice and moral order are important and that I have the moral responsibility as a writer to fight for what is right. Because Lualhati Bautista taught me to assert myself as a woman because it’s a man’s world and you have to learn to do so if you want to survive.

13. Because books taught me to push myself, to discover my self-worth, to be more tha I can be, to be too ambitious, to believe that there is something better than abusive marriages and a life that is less than ordinary.

14. Because to read is to live. And to live is to be completely alive.

Because a life that is less than ordinary is not worth living.

And because the person who does not read, has nothing, is nothing.

Read and Live!

It is the only way to survive.

Jobhunting, Pinoy Style 4: When you’re over the hill, it’s all downhill from there…

Here’s a little-known, oft-ignored truth about the Philippine job hunting process that you need to know:

Once you get past 30, you are gone. Kaput. You are dead to the workforce. You are the pariah of the job market.

When you are over the hill, it’s all downhill from there.

This was  something I had noticed only when I had turned 30. Before that, the job market was my playground. I could have any and every job on the market and not worry about being… too old.

30 is now the new 50.

Consider the following:

1. Fastfood crew – must be from 18-24, and at least in second year college, because you need to be a student in order to agree to work for peanuts for what is essentially an underpaid job.

2. Cashier – must be from 18-24, and an accountant, which I don’t get, as anything person with only grade school qualifications can figure out the ins and outs of the cash register. It doesn’t require you to balance the books or check the profits.

3. Salesclerk – must be from 18-24 and a graduate of a four-year course, although I do not see why you need a degree to be a salesclerk and why a younger person is a better salesclerk than an older one.

4. Movie usher – must be from 18-24 and a graduate of a four-year course, because you need a degree in physics to figure out where to sit moviegoers in a movie theater

5. Waitress – must be from 18-24 and a graduate of a four-year course and! with pleasing personality (whatever the hell that is), because your degree in accountancy will help you get the orders right.

6. Driver – must be from 18-24 and a graduate of a four-year course and must have experience in driving. Although I do not see why they shouldn’t just be trained na lang.

7. Call center agent – must be from 18-24 and a graduate of a four-year course, because lord knows that degree in nursing will come in handy when you are trying to deal with an irate customer from the American South who can’t work his computer or modem.

8. Government clerk – must be from 18-24 (well, 28, because they’re more inclusive that way) and a graduate of a four-year course, because that degree in political science will come in handy when you are trying to pocket government money for your own good.If  you want a higher position, you’ll need connections. And money. And a whole lot of favors to call on.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The only areas where you can get in without an age limit, is in university. But in the uni, you need a master’s, a doctorate and pretty much other diplomas that will guarantee you are qualified to spoonfeed students with mindless fodder.

So, as you can see, either way, you are f*cked.

Meanwhile the government goes on and on about how the unemployment rate in the Philippines is so high. And wonder why it is high. And then go on and post new posters with their faces on it, proudly saying this is where my taxes go.

So as you can see, when you are over the hill, it’s all downhill from there.