Film watch list: What have I been watching?!?

Back from a long hiatus. What have I been watching thus far? Well…

The Proposal – Sandra Bullock is the fire-breathing, man-eating incarnation of Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada), albeit a watered down, less scarier, version. She is a Canadian book editor who faces deportation if she does not fix her visa status soon. Enter nice book editor’s assistant, the secretly rich, quiet Ryan Reynolds who reluctantly agrees to marry her so she can get a spouse visa. Sparks fly. Dogs fly. Guess how it ends? Sidebar: I am sorry. I could not finish this. I just feel that Sandra Bullock is too old to be in romantic comedies. Why can she not be like other fortysomething Hollywood movie stars and star in a movie where she actually acts her age?!?

I Could Never Be Your Woman -  Michelle Pfeiffer is a successful TV executive producer and a single mom juggling between the responsibilities of work and home. Enter Paul Rudd as the young break out actor who falls for her. Sparks fly. Cute one-liners fly. Movie falls flat. Amy Heckerling directed this. So that makes you scratch your head. I do not know why this one has not done better. Perhaps it is because they were trying to pass Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd off as younger, trying to make a non-issue as an issue, trying to make a conflict out of nothing, trying to make a movie that just does not quite compute.

Garden State – Zach Braff plays a young struggling New York actor cum waiter who comes home for his mother’s funeral. Estranged from his father, alienated from his hometown, the character does not know what to do and I do not know what to make of this film as well. Natalie Portman is thrown in in the middle of the mix as a chronic liar with epileptic fits, but even her charm does not save this movie. The problem? Nothing happens. Literally nothing happens in the movie, the whole entire time.

The Sweetest Thing – I know this is an old one, but since I had to go through it, I might as well write about it. Cameron Diaz and her lady friends spend their time hanging out and hooking up (unfortunately not with each other). Apparently they all have issues. Cameron Diaz’s character is afraid of relationships, and her other two friends cannot just have enough sex (in fact, Selma Blair’s character’s jaw gets stuck in an uncompromising position while doing it) and…well, that’s it really.

The Heartbreak Kid – Ben Stiller has relationship issues. Encouraged by family and friends (note to self: never listen to family and friends), he proposes to the first woman he meets on the street and she turns out to be a total psycho (creepy that). On their honeymoon, he meets the perfect woman (Michelle Monaghan). Sparks fly. Lies fly. Fights ensue. This one is actually funny.

Made of Honor – Patrick Dempsey has relationship issues. He is bestfriends with Michelle Monaghan and is in love with her but does not realize it until she leaves for Scotland and comes back with a rich Scottish fiance. Sparks fly. Montages fly.  Guess how it ends?!?

The Ugly Truth – This one is actually more fun. Katherine Heigl (look how nicely she’s filled out since those “Roswell” days!) is a successful TV executive producer (aren’t they always?) with relationship issues. She has a crush on the neighborhood hottie but can’t quite work up the courage to ask him out. Enter totally un-PC, totally woman-hating Gerald Butler (without the “300″ get-up…so sad!) who teaches her how to play the dating game without looking like a total dork. Sparks fly. Vibrating panties fly (best scene that, actually. This redeems the movie for me). Happy endings for everyone.

Mary and Max – Eight-year old Mary from Australia, and 40something obese man from New York, Max, strike up a friendship as pen pals. The story chronicles how each one go through life. A touching, bittersweet, heartfelt animated film.

Zombieland – Funny take on zombie movies, with Woody Harrelson starring, with funny cameo from comedian Bill Murray. Mixes tongue-in-cheek humor with indie sensibility. Winning formula! Now a hit in the USA.